the limit of my life...

There are a lot stuffs that happen in my life...
I don't know that you reader heard before about my bad lung...
sometimes saw the place where I vomit those blood...
really freaking me out....
sometimes feel the pain of my body ...
making me worry...

Yesterday, my body was in pain ....
thinking that the scene will happen again ...
didn't think much ...
asking my mother bring me to hospital...
for specialist check up....
cost me around Rm170++

i know it expensive .. but what to do ...
bad lung that the God gave me ....
had to suffer from struggling the pain...
had to suffer from expensive cost....
had to suffer from so many stuffs...

Yesterday ... was ready to tell everyone I going into hospital...
and also written a sms to said cancel today plan...
but yet ... lucky me ... didn`t really had to enter hospital...

Today... when searching for jobs....
I was thinking ... a bad health like this... still wanna find jobs ?
I prefer stay at home ...
then when thought of my friends that I drag them today ...
If I can't do the jobs... just left to them ...
at least they also finding jobs....

A bad health like me still can stand so long....
feeling of the melting candle in my heart...

sometimes people think the future was easy to predict ...
but there always hard to tell...
some people think I joking ... but I am not....

really the feeling of death is getting near to me ....
hoping someone beside me...
to hear what I think.....
to keep every secret.....
to wipe each tears of mine...
to see what I view...

P.S. dad, I wish you are here....

Almost one month abandon my blog...

Let me start from Oct15 until now what had happen in my life...
( try to record every scenes)

First of all rush on my assignments...
I know most people hate assignments....
but it become a part of ECU life ...
2 Subject that is 100% assignment base....
and 2 Subject need 50% assignment and 50% of final exam...

While doing assignment .. of course some misunderstand happens ...
and conflicts .... (I don`t wanna record any bad news around here...)
But no matter what conflicts and misunderstand ...
sometimes .. it brings close relationship ....

After all those rushing ... of course, we had some break time....
that is when prom nite come into my life ....
prom nite for a farewell of HICT in Klang...
it was nice overall ... of course, my soul was not with me that time....
due to that assignment .. day and night was not enough sleep....
( that is why my soul was not around)

On that day .. my thought are going around and around....
because of assignment...preparation and all those stuffs...
now was think ... if my soul was around that time ... surely joining them into club sessions...
but everything was a past...
( don`t bother to think back sometimes)

After that nite ...was relax a bit ... but still need to rush assignment ...
revision and all those preparation for final paper....
was done in last minutes....
On assignment .. I saw some was struggling and some was done on time....
I know I wanna done my best for assignment and final paper...

Of course, stay up late night and wake up early morning...
will get my temper out of control.... ( I mean easily get anger)
but I try to control myself somehow ...
uncomfortable sleeping time will bring a mess on my days....

After the last presentation... my whole body feeling relief...
and also feel happy to done one huge documents with all efforts....
On that day also ... everyone need to start rushing for final ...
Lucky, tips are given... if not .. everyone was cracking brains....

On final week... once done my FRS paper ...
really felt disappointed... just done a biggest mistake somehow ....
scoring that paper.. was difficult...
just hoping it pass only ...
( doesn`t wanna get HD or D )
( the higher the expectation the higher the disappointment)

of course .. after that paper ...
3day for studying my law subject ...
try to bringing the letters and words into brains...
the only things I hate....
is memorize words...

but on that day... overall look like going well...
just some parts.. was trying to get some marks out of it...
Hopping my law will pass this time....
( suffer with law in my ECU life)

after the law test...
going back my normal life...
(sleeping is my number one concern)
I didn`t when back home...
just hanging around... and prepare for a celebration for Xin Yin...
I struggle on waking my brain up ....
and when through the day with all of them....
was happy .. yet tiring ..

PS: Finish all those assignment, Final paper and some events... making my whole brain tired...

I record that all on my brain....
I know I very fast forget .....
this give me an advantage ..
to forget all the sad scene.... and moving forward...
(sometimes just hate people bring up all those past)
past = past ... u can`t change a things from that ....

ok de la.. stop over here...