My mid semester started..

Now is the beginning of my mid-semester...
One week holiday... wondering to start studying...
Lecture so fast like train...
My brain adsorb so slow >.<

Last week,
I started to imagining how my life in the future going to be...
so I started just a based of every foundation of life...
Morality and the meaning of life...
Once we are small... we learn step by step...
and we know our mistake to be learn...
But once time goes on....
we started to forget what we had learn...
there goes our mistake...

There how I learn from this little monk...

He is impatient person just like you and me....
Mistake that he done... is every foundation of everyone life...
Therefore, I continue watched this short clip until the end...

I learn and pick up some mistake that everyone had done...
Life is easy when everyone know the meaning of it...
This little monk show had open up my mind...
I had post a few on Facebook for share to all my friends...
Most of it was regarding to all my close friends...
the mistake that they had done... but does not realize...

Giving myself 2 day break...
so that I had a stable mind to start my study...
4 week of study.... but had not adsorb properly...
manage my time to get what I wanted...

Signing out,
Tommyterm

Yes... It is today...

A miles back to my past...
What I felt and What I cry for...
That is What I learn from the past...

I fall like the market share drop rapidly...
and I growth twice higher than it drops...

BES 3100, I was taking now in this semester...
I did mentions before the words...
"I can be social but not 100% social because of my past experiences"
My past experiences... I was thinking at that moments was...
the robbery that I had experiences...
(5 robbery in my life)
the missing of my beloved person that hurt...
the lost of all my friends joys...
the isolated from a group of friends...
and the last was the cruel of this reality...

All this past experiences...
was telling me to be careful in the future...

and I always stated " the future is uncertainty "
sometimes... you may get hurts...
sometimes... the loved ones missing...
sometimes... you might not be in this world...

we never know what going to happen...
It all reality that we had to face...
I glad... my friend (you know who you are) understand me...
and all those I mentions and convince him...
really make a great big step moving towards the future....

signing off,
Tommy term

Everyone was depressed but who is the most depressed?

Today I purposely create an event after that Pangkor trip....
The first thing want to know is the reaction from my group..

Talking about this Pangkor trip...
ECU was a small group that had money since the beginning but never been use before...
I know it not my hard work and others...
but as the leader of the club... should had divide properly to each people...
Since they decide to paid for the accommodation of Pangkor trip...
but the main problem is who was there??

I know my group had been boycott for that trip...
but at least should hide it properly...
Facebook (public place)... had been release all those picture and comments..
and guess what??

me, myself was already known to be SOLO...means one man show...
ya, I was all alone by myself even in group and not...
once I was not in group... I try to include myself into others group...
others in the sense of the girls group, Howe group and also the marketing group...
with different channel and different communication...
I was tried my best to suit myself...

but what is the most sad case??
the Pangkor trip was include all of them....
never one of them come just ask me wanna join them ??
I guess... me just a side dishes that nobody know I was there or not...

Friendship is hard to make... but so easy to be break...
I guess had to life myself all alone without any care and also friends...
my group members, some was upset and some was not...
The upset one, I had no ideas why they upset....
but who hurt the most??
guess it was me again...
life is sad and pathetic...but every time need to stand up and walk alone...

I hope everyone will be fine after all...
since it past and just forget it...

signing off,
Tommy

As the time goes.....

My mind keep thinking of negative side... but what worst it come true....
Never a time that my mind telling the positive side ..
sometimes it happen... I glads of it...

What more??
Final exam coming... the more worries I am...
Before the shift of college....
As mind told me...
1)That Group study does not had my portions..
2)The topics become lesser and lesser each time....
3)The Gap is getting larger...
4)No matter I inside or not... still the same...

Guess what ... All come true...

I always make a backup for every things...
what more? gonna be loner...
fight and survive by myself....
gonna social to others that on the same road....
finding topics to talk?

Seriously no topics to talks... except for gossip... lol.. -.-
What to do ...
Life come, Life goes...
Friends come, Friends goes...
haih.. does not want to said anymore about this...
tired sometimes...
-------------------------------------------------------------
Now more worries me;

• Final Exam on Audit and CM
• What to do after exam cannot go back stay until 4.30pm?
• Wasting my time at college for 4hour 30 min?
• All exam morning... sure sleepy once reach at college

haiz... need to think and plan d...
If there are no reply from them...
I guess had to travel d... what to do?
life is pathetic as you think...

Sign off,
Tommyterm

Maybe I think too much or felt isolated somehow...

I know I quite a number of months and days was not typing this blog...
I thought that after my final exam will update...
suddenly had to make advance update to release my anger...
final is near, and my mood was down....

I don't know whether I think too much or already been isolated....
some was wonder what happen to me and all those....
I just had one words to describe today.... "lonely"

I went to college by bus...
reach college and saw nobody....
then I loitering around alone...
several minutes... I saw my friends...
thought why suddenly so early reach...
so asked and get no reply.... then I guess they are too tired so ignored me...

After a while... the class started and nobody told me...
I was just outside... and all entered the class earlier than me...
miss several minutes at the beginning of the class...
I don't mind cause I suppose to be inside the class waiting instead of outside..

A few minutes was given break time..
the girls was busy talking so secretive ...
so I asked and reply "don't let me know"
so I like fine... I don't mind cause maybe they talking about women stuffs...
then what wrong with that finger pointing thingy??
sure said something that is not women stuffs d....

I like "oh ok... instead u all so secretive... why don't I went outside?"
so I went outside class and loitering around again...
before I went outside... one of my friend just come said some "bad news"
I like... "O.o why don't after class we did the changes?"
after a several minutes.... my friend just come back with his hand of assignment...
2 assignment... I like " where is mine portions? invisible sitting here?"
which bring my mood down...

I did went out of the class somehow...
to chat with some seniors... to make myself cool down...
went back in the class... and it goes until it ends of the class...

After the class, friends asking me " you did the changes?"
I reply in different answers... then they start said I lazy to make changes....
I like "my mood was down d... really no mood to do all those stuffs d...."
After they done those printing and stuffs...

So went to eat.... walking halfway...
I thought I heard " economic rice shop there "
so I walk halfway... they suddenly change direction... I like "huh?"
so enter the another shop and notice they already change places...
Ok... fine... I don't mind...
so normally after lunch... back home straight...
they change direction again.... I like "huh?"
I keep thinking...
"Hello, I around here... at least tell me where you all going la.."
already no mood... then plus with another one...
damn damn down my mood goes...

Instead of listening to the presentation... I went loitering around again...
I don't know they did not notice I a bit different today... @@
Haiz... really speechless...
I become invisible somehow...
"nobody see me, nobody ask me, nobody think I am there"

that is what got my mood down...
I think after write this... I had to go to bed...
Tomorrow will be another day to go...
and need to STUDY for my final exam....

PS: will update once holiday....